Thursday, 23 August 2012

What does Recovery look like?

You're probably staring at this title and thinking, 'OBVIOUSLY recovery means that you are not a little twig anymore'. Well, in one way, you are right. Being recovered means that I will no longer look like the skeleton I looked like in April 2012. It means that I will begin to have a normal body - one suitable for my age, height, gender, etc. It means that my body will be healthy.

But recovery is so much more than just the physical changes. Mentally, recovery means that I will be able to eat food without feeling guilty after every meal or snack. It means that my appetite will return, and that I will actually enjoy eating - just like everyone else does. Recovery entails blocking ED's voice out, especially when he tells me that I am fat or lazy for eating. Or when he tells me that I should feel terrible for nourishing my body.

Emotionally, recovery means that I will feel better - happier, safer, and more at peace. I will not feel as if the world is judging me based on what my weight or body shape is. It means that I can look in the mirror and like what I see - or at least accept that this is my body. It means not feeling anxious before, after, or during meals. Recovering from ED means that I will no longer feel depressed or sad about the things that ED tells me (You are so fat. You have gained so much weight. You are hideous. You are powerless and useless).

Socially, recovery means that I will be more prepared to be around others. I will not be concerned that they will call me fat or tease me about my weight. I will not be worried if there is food in a gathering because I will know how to handle it. I will be able to go out with others and have a good time - without letting ED tag along for the party.

Spiritually, recovery means that I will realize that my body belongs to Christ. That it is not mine; it is a gift that I must take care of, before returning it to the Lord. It means that I will cherish and take care of my body the way God intended. I will shut ED out as my master and welcome Jesus to fill my heart with His peace and comfort.

In general, recovering from ED means that I will be free. I will be free to eat when my body tells me that it needs energy. I will feel free to laugh, to smile, to enjoy my life. I will feel safe to be around others. I will be able to look into the mirror, and for once, appreciate the body that God has given me. I can stand proud and be confident in my abilities and talents - and not focus on my weight and shape. I can block ED's voice and ignore his ruthless demands. I can be the independent young woman that God wants me to be - independent of ED and his lies.

So, what does recovery look like?

Well, to put one word on it: FREEDOM.


  1. Marina,I can wait to hear complete recoevery happens to you and me.Is it possible or just a dream ,?? please answer me Marina

    Anne A

    1. You know what Anne? I believe it is possible. I sounds so impossible because it is ever so hard. It's painful, it hurts, it is torture. Getting better takes so much work - it is honestly the hardest thing you will ever do in your life. But I have a God who is capable of doing anything. If you do your part, I am sure He will do His. Trust in Him. Go full out and pull out all the stops on ED. YOU WILL GET BETTER. I know you can!

    2. Thanks for the reply so quickly.
      I am sure God has sent you for me and my recovery
      I do apprecaite it and one time I will vist you.

  2. Every thing is possible for those who believe.
    I am sure complete recovery is coming to you and those victims following your lead.


    1. Thanks Mary! Your continued support is priceless!

  3. I can not wait to see complete recovery happens to you so that you can accept me as a fried that loves you

    I pray for you and all ED victims


    1. Thank you Henry! I already accept you (and all my readers!) as friends who have shown me the upmost love and support. I am sincerely thankful to you all!

  4. Wow Marina
    You really identify all criteria of recoevry from a compliacted illness .You included all the associated aspect of ED and not just what people may see.
    I have no doubt that complete recovery coming soon in your life and you will enjoy the best of life as you deserve.
    You are leading your follwers and I can guess they are not few.
    God may bless your motivation and guide your endeavor

    With my humble respect

    1. Thanks Mohammed! I too hope that complete recovery is on its way! I hope people can realize that ED is not 'a little illness' but in fact a detrimental ailment that robs you of your life!

  5. I can not wait to hear your complete recovery and also I wish if I hear this ED eradicated from the whole world so that will not trap any other people .
    I am sure you will help eradicating this Ed by your blog that alerted my attention and I could intervene before my daughter got trapped.

    Thank you.
    A Thankful mother

    1. I am so thankful and happy to hear that you are helping your daughter. Know that you are doing her a big favour. Right now, you are saving her life. Do not let your guard down. Protect your daughter and love her forever. Stay strong dear mother!

    2. Thank you .I will follow your lead.
      You are more helpful than my Family doctor .When I visted him ,he just brushed of my concern and tells me leave her alone !!! come on
      Thanks again my dear

  6. Freedom with what this word really mean is what all of us looking for Ed victims or not.Keep up Freedom is few steps away

    S K

  7. I am looking for to hear you declare victory and you achieved all that freedom that you deserve Marina

    I love you for who you are .Look at all gifts that God has given you.I trust God is using you to help others

    You are always in my heart and prayers.


  8. Marina ,I have 2 friends they look like have Ed from what I can guess after reading your blog but they never admit to me they are sick. Yesterday they said they are reading your blog but never made any comments.
    I believ a lot of people reading you blog on a regular basis.The 3 of us yesterday were talking about ED and what means to live as a slave and undercontrol and waht also means by freedom.
    God bess you as much as your altruism.

    Thank you


  9. All this are possible through Christ who strengthens me!!! U will get better b/c u want to get better... and just when u feel like u cant carry on anymore God will lift u up and carry u.


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