Friday, 3 August 2012

Thank you!

It's coming close to being the two-week mark ever since I began treatment for my anorexia. And let me just say, it's been really tough. I've endured countless tummy aches, no sleep, cramps, reflux, and more. I've participated in group discussions where I've bawled my eyes out over my journey with ED. I've shared personal information about myself that I would normally not like to talk about. I've slept in a bed that is not mine; I've used bathrooms that are not my own. I've challenged myself eating foods that I do not like or am actually fearful of. In a nutshell, it really has not been my cup of tea (pun intended!).

I realize that this sounds like a post that is simply about complaining. But be patient with me, there is so much more. Although it's been a hard fight, I know that I would not be here today if it were not for my loving parents. My mom and dad have supported me ever since they realized that I had ED. They were by my side everyday when I was in the ICU, even when I was asleep/sedated for the entire month of May. They were there when I opened my eyes in the beginning of June, and they were there when I got discharged. They put their lives on hold for me so that I could fight and live. They took me to California for a fun vacation right before I was admitted to the hospital for treatment. Now, they visit me everyday. I am ever so grateful for their endless and powerful love. It is truly a love that conquers all.

I also want to thank my sister, who spent many nights alone at home because my parents were with me at the hospital. She has always been my strength; the rock that I can lean on when I feel scared or worried. She has supported me my entire life, always sharing her wisdom and experiences with me. She is my best friend, one that I will be forever in debt to. She is my role model; my source of motivation and encouragement.

And it just would not be right if I did not thank everyone who comments on this blog. I may not respond to every single comment or 'like' on facebook, but I want you all to know that I appreciate it so much. Reading comments here motivates me to write more; it makes me realize that people ARE interested in what I have to say, and that I have many supporters out there. It makes me feel that I am making somewhat of a difference in other people's lives. It shows me that I am loved and cared for - something that I have often struggled to see.

To all of my friends, family, commenters, and readers, thank you. Thank you for showing me that it is possible to recover from an eating disorder. Thank you for making me feel loved and special. Thank you for encouraging me to share my story with the world. Thank you for empowering me and helping me realize that there is so much to live for.

Thank you for being there for me, every single time I fall. For showing me that I can always stand up and fight. And I'll always fight, regardless of how many times I fall down.


  1. You Thank You so much
    For sharing your personal story
    For showing the real disease to others and how hard to have this disease on victims,and their family and friends
    Thank you for giving your own hints and experience to others
    I learnt alot from you.
    I am now on the list for inpatient and I am motivated to get complete recovery so that never I will be in situation close to what you have been
    You are a fighter
    You also are a writer that discribes clearly the ordeal of the disease and also the ordeal of recovery.
    Thank you for your blog
    Please continue sharing your experinec
    It does help
    I owe you the motivation to seek help as I thought I have mild case and ED tells me,Just enjoy it and keep going,you will not get sick
    You taught me how decieving this disease is.
    Thanks again

    A A

  2. I never made any comments before but I am following your bleg as I have a daughter that I believe suffering from this disease and I am learning myself about all tricks of this illness from your blog.I print out and have her read and I noted some good change in her eating habits . I am worry that she may one day be a victim of serious disease but she denies and does not want see a doctor.However as I said ,with info from your blog,I am hopeful.
    Thank you so much
    I trust your parenst,families and friends are as great as you are .
    All of them should be proud of you.
    Thank you.
    Please keep going
    A thankful mother

  3. I think you will know me.
    Who should thank whom.
    We should thank you for all the good work,demeanor,honesty,sincerity,hard working ,loving and caring personality.
    You are a treasure given to your parents and your parents should keep you in their eyes,heart and mind.
    Your parents should be proud of you.
    We love you so much

    N A

  4. You are one of the few people that showed us how severe is this disease and how possible (despite very hard)to recover.
    I admire you for your hard work,perseverence and altruism.
    I think you are a role model

    S C South Carolina

  5. Hi there
    We are following your progress and We are very happy that despite how hard it is you are going and you are few steps away from recovery.
    We pray for you that God gives you strength and patience and be with you all the time during your struggle fighting this monster.
    I agree with other comments
    You are a role model and you are motivating others
    You give a message of hope that recoevery is availble and you just go and look for it

    Your friend

  6. Hey
    Thank you for giving me hope,strength and courage to confront my weakness in front of my ED.You are a resiliant person that showed me no matter how hard it is , you never siccumb or give up to your enemy.
    You stood up for your self and showed me how to do it.
    I admire your family for supporting you.I do not have a family like you but I do have friends and others like you who directly and indirectly give me that hope of recovery.
    Please do not pretend a smile on your face to please your family.This body,mind and hearaching disease creates plenty of thoughts,feelings and emotions and good family and therapist need to be able to listen you purging all these.
    Please get all you feelings and emotions out,dump them and replace all of them with new thoughts and feeling to live happy
    You deserve good life
    You are pioneer in making a difference in ED recovery
    Way to go
    The sky is the limit.
    Together We will fight ED

  7. Good Day
    I am a priest.
    I admire you for taking a strong action and keeping your tireless effort to achieve your goals of complete and perminent recoevery and setting an example to others.
    I want to congratulate you for addressing Perfectionism and admitting that you have some of it.
    You clearly state there is a difference between being little perfectionistic and obssessive and so compulsive.You are right.

    No one is perfect except God.
    To Err is Human,To Forgive is Devine.

    God forgives us millions of times.If God knows that We can be perfect ,why He forgives us then?

    Now where is the fine line between being little perfect and obssessive compulsive?
    I think it is same as is the fine line between restrictive eating behaviours of ED,normal eating and binge eating.
    Also same as taking little caffine (one or 2 cups daily) and addiction to caffine.

    God gives us many blessing to have little bit of each in moderations but when we are as human being misuse this ,then things get out of hand a become a disease.
    Please continue your thoughts adressing these prickly issues associated with Ed as I think you help others wake up and think logically .You are right ED is not only eating issues but other prongs and strings attached that make it hard .
    May God bless you and help you.
    My thoughts and prayers

  8. I appreciate your honesty in your writing .My comment is about perfectionism
    You see how a good character can change to be a bad one.
    Little bit of salt makes our food palatable but too much makes it yukky .Little bit of wine fix my stomach but too much led me to a women's detox.
    I remember when I was in early years at school ,I was not satisfied with getting 99% and I was only looking for 100% but when I went to university,tough competition,I was o k to get 75 %
    I can say trying to be close to perfect is o k but admit no one is


  9. I read all the blog and all the comments and let me admit ,it has become my daily TO DO list
    I do not have ED but I learn something new each time I read this blog and all the helpful comments


  10. Can you tell us what is your background education.I can guess either broadcasting,psychology or mix of both.
    You are knowledgible in your disease may be even more than your doctors and you are writing like a Pro


  11. You are in our thoughts and in our prayers
    We wish you urgent recovery.We feel your pain and agony while you were very ill and your organs failing and now while you are taking painful steps to challenge the monster.
    Please be assured you are not alone.
    May god bless you


  12. Hi there.
    I have been following with interest but with great surprise while you explaining all what you are going through.
    I am studying chemical engineering and i have little idea about health but I can not understand how eating less food can end up to all of this.
    Now I understand thanks to you.
    Now being aware ,may help prevent from falling victim to this creeping monster.


  13. What a journey of sickness and recovery
    I wish you complete recovery,
    Keep going

    S N

  14. who can beleive just trying to lose weight,could lead to death and misery.
    your blog is a wake up call for many who can fall into this


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