Monday, 13 August 2012

Compliments

ED is the master of twisting things around. He can take anything and somehow make it seem horrible or negative. He is particularly skilled at doing this with compliments that I hear from others.

When someone tells me that I 'look healthier' or 'all better', ED immediately tells me that this person is alluding to the fact that I gained weight.

He/she is saying that you have gained so much weight and that it is obvious. They are telling you that you are fat. And they are right. You are nothing short of huge, ugly, and a failure.

You can see how this is problematic. Here I am, getting great compliments from people who mean well. All they want to tell me is that I am getting better and that they are proud of me. They are happy to see me healthy and they want to share this with me. But ED does not let me feel the joy I should be feeling when others praise my efforts. Instead, ED twists around compliments to make me feel useless and unattractive.

It really sucks. I mean, how is anyone supposed to support me if they cannot tell me that I'm doing well and that I look healthier?! I suppose it is a matter of changing the way I see things. If I refuse to let ED in and change what others are saying, I can be sure that I will take compliments in a positive and constructive manner. If someone tells me that I look healthier, I will not let ED tell me that I look fat. Instead, I'll take the comment the way it was intended - that I indeed look better, because I am not knocking on death's door any longer. If people say that I 'look better', I will understand that this means that I do not look sick anymore. And this is a good thing!

So, I have to be mindful of the way that ED twists around words and conversations. He is great at making me feel down, and he knows how to make things seem worse than they really are. He is a pro at putting me down and making me feel worthless. The important part is for me to recognize that the nasty voice in my head that is filtering all positive aspects of people's comments is ED. He wants to bring me down, to take away every source of joy and happiness in my life - including the pleasant comments that others give me. So, today, I WILL NOT let ED control the way I hear comments from others. And, if for any reason he somehow manages to twist things around, I will ask the person what they really meant by their comment.

ED does not stand a chance.

16 comments:

  1. The method you're using to expose ED through your blogs is brilliant. You're challenging him by finally being rational and putting him to shame. He's taken enough of your life from you. It's time now to conquer, to overcome, TO DESTROY HIM! Evil hides from the light or else it's shame becomes exposed. Please, please keep writing about his twisted ways and deception lies. Soon he will be humiliated under your feet and you will stand atop him, victorious. God bless your courage and strength sister. Keep persevering! Take care.

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  2. Hahaha! Love that last line! Atta girl cutie! You can do it! ;)

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  3. Sounds like a good plan.

    Sally

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  4. As you describing ED as a twister,lier,manipulative and he wish you to be sad and all his comments are meant to make you feel sad,dwon,fat,ugly bla bla blab ..
    So I agree with you, you dismiss all his allegation.No body believes a lier .No body trust her enemy.No body listen to whom hates us .
    Yes you may clarify from the person making the comments before ED jumping in and quickly tells you not only me I say you are fat it is your friend too.

    I remember going through all these but I am recovered now and I do not have all these confrontaions and fights with ED as I kicked his compleetly from my life

    You are getting there..

    My best

    Recovered ED victim

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    Replies
    1. it is great to know that you are recovered and have gotten rid of him! good for u!

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  5. I agree and I can add ED is like a very jealous and controlling partner.He wants to control every thing in your life.Only make you feel happy if you do things his way and make you feel terrible if you listen to your rational mind.I like when you describe his as twister

    yes ED twists all facts to look only from his views.
    Continue to kick him out.

    You are amazing
    You do not buy or yield to his demands

    Mohammed,

    Kingston,ON

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    Replies
    1. you are right! some people will even describe ED as an abusive relationship!

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  6. I love you when you challenge all ED allegations. You believe people who loves you like me and disregard who hates U like ED.
    I love you even when you ignore me.
    You are the most mature girl I ve ever met.


    Henry
    Washington,D C

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    Replies
    1. thank you! it is great to have support from people who do not know you nor have met u! God bless u Henry!

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  7. That is why I am sick.It is the twister who twists every thing in my life and leads me to be against all my family and friends and live in isolation.

    I hate my ED and I am coming to my treatment program.
    Thank you for shinning the light on this twister..

    A A

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    Replies
    1. im so proud and happy that you have begun the work on recovery. you are in my prayers

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  8. I can not imagine how people can live when a lier ,controlling and big twister ruin their lives..
    May the blessing of Virgin Mary keep you much more stronger than him..
    Very proud of you.

    Mary
    Mississauga,On

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  9. Hey
    Continue to enjoy the complements and please take all as face values and genuine facts rather than a compliment because people mean it as it is .you are haelthy.If they mean otherwise ,they would tell you.Please enjoy it and believe it and do not follow the lead of your hater.

    Mariett

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  10. I agree
    Enjoy the compliments and take all as a motivation to push harder on ED until he enters the door of death.I see him heading towards this direction.Keeping pushing on him.He may be using his last resorts..


    You are a GIRL

    SC

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  11. I love this blog and I hope you continue sharing your recovery with us. Its amazing to read such determination! You're in my prayers

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