Monday, 27 August 2012

Sleeping

If you are anything like me, you know the value of a good night's sleep. After a long and tiring (and not to mention busy!) day, all you need is to put your head on a comfortable pillow, close your eyes, and let the night pass in peace. Hopefully, you awake the next morning and realize that you have slept well and are now refreshed, ready to meet the day's challenges.

But what happens when you DO NOT sleep? Well, obviously, you get tired. You feel lazy and grumpy and you simply do not want to do anything. You get headaches. And you are frusrated because you just spent seven or eight hours laying on your bed, trying to sleep. The worst feeling is being up all alone at night when you know that everyone else is sound asleep.

ED robs his victims of sleep - simply because he likes to take away all happy moments from our lives. ED made me stay awake for every waking moment of the day. I could not sleep at night because ED made me starve all day, so the hunger pains in my stomach were simply too strong to ignore. The rumblings in my gut caused me severe discomfort, but ED told me to ignore them - to keep starving myself. All night I would lay in bed, reviewing what I had eaten during the day. ED reminded me of every morsel of food that I ate, criticizing me for every ounce of nourishment my body had received. He insulted me for not doing any physical activity. And so, during the night when everyone was asleep, I would have ED as company - unwanted and uninvited.

Foolish girl! Weak and lazy! How could you live with yourself, knowing that you ate ...... (insert food here) today?! How could you be so fat, not doing any activity? What will happen tomorrow? You will have gained weight. You will become fat. Insolent girl! Useless and undeserving of life!

Eventually, I broke down. In the ICU, ED kept me awake because he scared me with insults, threats of death, and more. I was put on medication to help me go to sleep....and thank God, they worked! Within an hour of taking my medication, I now fall asleep soundly. Does ED still try to haunt me at night? Of course he does. But I always try to ignore him, giving him no opportunity to ridicule me. He still ltries to creep in during my dreams, mocking me about my weight, shape, food, relationships, etc. But whenever I have a bad dream, I wake up and say a quick prayer, asking the Lord to give me peace and comfort.

And I know that ED will always try to tease me, whether I am awake or asleep. But another thing I know is that I have God on my side - and He is stronger than ED.

Because Jesus has said to '...be of good cheer. For I have overcome the world" (John 16:33). ED is in for a big surprise!

24 comments:

  1. I am sure with God strengh and power you are defeating any ED thoughts whether u r awake or asleep.You protected by God's angels

    My prayers

    Sunday Priest is praying on Monday and every day

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    1. Thank you so much! I am blessed to have such a supportive religious community!

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  2. Marina you know i do not have Ed .I have very muscular and strong healthy body but I had to suffer for years from poor sleep and I could not help it till I went to a walk in clinic and I met that doctor.She taught me ""Sleep Hygiene" basically to set up my wake up time and fix it ,even if I did not sleep ,I wake up at my wake up time,even week end.She told me sleep only on your bed,make it comfortable ,dim the light ,make your room calm and go to sleep when you feel tired ,close eyes and relax all the muscles of the body and do not think of any problem at all ,no matter what hapeened during your day do not try to think about any issue that can take you from here and there but rather rest your brain.She gave me also some neuropeptides I believe and also told me no caffine (I was using lots lots of caffine to wake me up during the day)
    It did work and

    You are absolutley right
    If I compare when I was sleepless and Now I feel greet
    Whai is better than having a good night sleep
    My respect
    jack

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    1. Thanks Jack. You are right - sleep hygiene is so important and many of us overlook it. I am glad that it worked for you! Very thrilled to read your comments and I am asking that you continue to pray for me!

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  3. Marina

    I have been trying to collect the benifits of complete recovery from ED and it seems to me very hard to count
    Can you count with me

    being satisfied with your self,enjoy your day ,seeing friends,have fun with family and friends ,feel happy ,having clear and sound mind and brain that uses all the inherited talents and smartness and think better,comfortable night sleep ,walking in joy and self confidence.Feel proud of self and you like who you are,feel healthy and well and having strong immune system that defends you against disease
    What else I forgot from your thorough blog my dear

    I am happy that you sleep well now and your mind free from ED and are confindent to brush off any thoughts of this lier

    Happy for you Marina

    Mary

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    1. WOW Mary! What a detailed and thorough list. Reading your comment has reminded me of why I am working so hard - especially when it gets so tough. Thank you for your comments and support. May the Lord bless you!

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  4. Marina,

    Please take this from a friend. You are so precious in the sight of God and all the hairs on your head are numbered.
    If God has given you this challenge He will bring you out of it. Only requirement is that you rely on Him and know that He loves you and you are His child.

    I can somewhat relate to feeling helpless. I was in and out of the hospital for various back problems which lead to a few operations and this was so hard for me especially since I was just in my early 20s.

    I thought God completely forgot about me as I could see all of my friends moving on with their lives and I just felt stuck. I felt like I was fighting an endless fight but God got me out of it.

    Took a good three years of my life and I still have some side effects I know that God is present and will get me through it.

    And in the meantime I have to be fully content with the state that I am in and serve God and love him the way I am. As our Lord called us to carry our crosses joyfully and know that God is always with us.

    God Bless you and grant you a speedy recovery!!
    Hang in there you are in my prayers.

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    1. Thank you very much for the lovely comment! I am trying my best to rely on God. I am sorry for your struggle and operations - it must have been very difficult and I cannot possibly imagine how much pain you went through. But I am happy to hear that you are better. My prayers are with you. God bless you!

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  5. Hi there.
    Yes my dear not only ED rob us our health and enjoyment of life with others,it also rob us from the basic need of all creatures,humans,animals ,birds ,rest and sleep.Yes resting and sleep is taken away from my life all the years I struggled with ED.
    Thanks God I am happy to say that I sleep like a baby.Yes Marina the Ed will finally give up with your perseverence and his fight and attacks become weaker till stop .
    Keep going
    I am happy with your sucess and I am thankful for you are the first ED victim to look way and beyond your self to help others in this blog

    Keep going

    Recovered ED victim

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    1. Thank you! It is great to hear from a recovered victim - what an inspiration you are! I am blessed to have your support and comments! I am very happy that the Lord has helped you and you are now recovered, sleeping better, and enjoying life. Please pray for me!

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  6. I can tell that my daughter wake up late every day .It is hard for me to know if sleeping or not but my guess is not as she sleeps in a separate room and closes the door but when I look her in the eye ,i know she is not.
    What can I do to help?
    please tell me Marina if I can ask her directly? As you know she denies even having any issue .Only you alerted me and I noted
    Thanks again

    A Thankful mother

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    1. This is a tough issue, and I'm not so sure if my advise will work. But, I would recommend that you try it. She might really be sleeping because she has not slept all night...or maybe she is laying in bed and unable to sleep, or she does not want to get up and face her day. Asking her directly may make her defensive, but I think that the best solution is to be kind and supportive...and ask her whether or not she is sleeping well. Try talking to her calmly and expressing your concern. Not 'I THINK YOU ARE SICK', but perhaps "I'm worried about you and I just want to make sure you are okay'. Take her to the doctor if you can. Make sure she is eating enough. Please, dear mom, do not give up until you are sure that she is okay. ED will creep up on you and before you know, he has taken over his victim. May God be with you and your daughter. My prayers are with you!

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    2. All your suggetions very helful
      Thank you

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  7. I am glad you address this sleep issue as all my friends have poor sleep and I will pass on this blog to them ,so they can get help.
    Thank you

    Meriett

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    1. Thanks Meriett! Sleep is so important for all of us - who does not love a good night's rest? God bless you!

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  8. Hello my love
    Please enjoy your sleep and if any Ed thoughts come ,kick him hardly and push his tricks away.

    You are a leader in recovery.
    Every day I discover new talent in you my love.
    Keep up

    Love Henry

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    1. Thank you Henry. I am trying my best to kick ED out! I ask for your prayers and support during this time. God bless you, and thank you for keeping up with the blog.

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  9. Who is that Ed to call the beatiful angel names and disturb your sleep with negative thoughts .How dare this monster.I pray the the almeight hit him hard and kick him out of our life.

    You deserve the best life day and night my sweetheart.

    I never forget the first time I came in to take ECG on you and despite you were tired and short of braeth ,you looked me in the eye and said Hi My name is Marina


    Good bless you and keep you safe

    L Y

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    1. Thank you! I appreciate your support - both at the hospital and here on the blog. Yes, I remember the first day you took an ECG on me...I was scared and tearful but you made me super comfortable. You have been so supportive throughout this journey. You are always in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you!

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  10. Marina ,I consider my self very healthy ,how ever I have to admit that I use melatonin every night to help me relax and sleep .I started taking one and now I am taking 10mg every night.All docs assured me not addictive and no side effetcs as melatonin is like serotonin natural brain neuro trasmitter (brain chemical) .I al happy that both you and me finally enjoying a good night sleep .Your blog helpful hints to me and I am sure to all of your follwers

    My humble respect

    Mohammaed

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    1. Melatonin has been found to be VERY helpful in sleep! I am glad you tried it and found it to work for you! Thanks for following this blog!

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  11. My lovely girl
    Step by step you are achieveing what you want.
    I am happy you are going up the curve and crushing ED with all your forces
    You are pioneer in winning against strong illness.

    I admire and love you.
    You are my favourivite friend on the web.

    Jorge

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    1. Thanks Jorge. Your comments are always helpful...thanks for the support! God bless you!

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