The Rain
Today was really rainy where I live. I woke up to cloudy weather, which soon evolved into heavy downpours. I looked out the window and saw that there was not even a hint of sunlight. And it made me feel really tied and sad.
I don't suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD - which is when you feel clinically depressed during certain seasons), but the weather has a huge impact on my mood. I mean, imagine a very sunny day - the light shining into your room and making you feel warm and awake. Now picture a day like today - rainy, cloudy, and wet. Is it any wonder why rainy days are boring?!
ED takes advantage of the fact that the rain makes me sad and gloomy. He tells me that it is going to be a bad day, filled with lots of terrible things. And to ED, having a bad day is the perfect excuse to restrict.
It's rainy. There is no sun, no happiness outside. You should not eat. In fact, since you can't do much because of the rain, you should just mope the entire day and starve. Remember how good it feels when you are empty? Today is your chance!
So I have to take deep breath, sum up my strength, and ignore ED.
Well, ED, you are right - it is raining outside. And there isn't much I can because of the weather. But what I CAN do is shut you out. So what if it is rainy? I still need to eat, regardless of the weather! And I now know your tricks. You are trying to find any reason to bring me down so that I can become your slave again and starve myself to death. You, ED, are so immature. You didn't kill me once, and you are so angry that you are trying to find another way to take my life. You want me dead. Now I am smarter. Now I am stronger. I will no longer succumb to your deceptive lies and words. It IS raining outside - that I cannot change. But what I CAN change is how I feel. I refuse to feel sad and let you tell me not to eat and to feel depressed.
In fact, the rain is a blessing from God to water the grass and plants. Rain is a heavenly gift. So, whenever it rains, I'll take the time to thank God for showing His love and care for the Earth.
Take that, ED!
I don't suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD - which is when you feel clinically depressed during certain seasons), but the weather has a huge impact on my mood. I mean, imagine a very sunny day - the light shining into your room and making you feel warm and awake. Now picture a day like today - rainy, cloudy, and wet. Is it any wonder why rainy days are boring?!
ED takes advantage of the fact that the rain makes me sad and gloomy. He tells me that it is going to be a bad day, filled with lots of terrible things. And to ED, having a bad day is the perfect excuse to restrict.
It's rainy. There is no sun, no happiness outside. You should not eat. In fact, since you can't do much because of the rain, you should just mope the entire day and starve. Remember how good it feels when you are empty? Today is your chance!
So I have to take deep breath, sum up my strength, and ignore ED.
Well, ED, you are right - it is raining outside. And there isn't much I can because of the weather. But what I CAN do is shut you out. So what if it is rainy? I still need to eat, regardless of the weather! And I now know your tricks. You are trying to find any reason to bring me down so that I can become your slave again and starve myself to death. You, ED, are so immature. You didn't kill me once, and you are so angry that you are trying to find another way to take my life. You want me dead. Now I am smarter. Now I am stronger. I will no longer succumb to your deceptive lies and words. It IS raining outside - that I cannot change. But what I CAN change is how I feel. I refuse to feel sad and let you tell me not to eat and to feel depressed.
In fact, the rain is a blessing from God to water the grass and plants. Rain is a heavenly gift. So, whenever it rains, I'll take the time to thank God for showing His love and care for the Earth.
Take that, ED!
