Health is Wealth

Continuing in our discussion on how to break habits. We've covered quite a few topics - please take a look at the past posts for more goodies on how to break our habits! Today, I'd like to discuss a critical part of breaking habits, one that often scares many of us. The idea of actually breaking habits - whether that be physical behaviours or mental/emotional thoughts - is that we have to DO/THINK THE OPPOSITE. This post talks a bit about how to start changing our thinking and actions. In short, need to learn new ways of thinking, feeling, and doing. And this, as we all know, is hard work. This post will review one way to go about doing this - I challenge you to become a scientist and conduct an experiment. What does this mean? I want you to think about a behaviour you are doing. Of course, if it did not serve a purpose in your life, you would not be doing it. But at the same time, this behaviour or action might cause you distress, fear, anger, or frustration. For exa...

We previously discussed coping statements that we can use to help get us through difficult times. The way we talk to ourselves is incredibly important. Our brains internalize what we say - and think. This is how habits in thinking and behaviour are created. Our neurons form connections - 'neurons that fire together, wire together.  From one perspective, this is why the more negative things you say to yourself or about yourself, the more you believe them. And the harder it is to think differently. BUT, the opposite is true: if you consistently say positive things to yourself, you will internalize them. It is critical to remember that you might not necessarily 'believe' what you are saying . For example, we know that in tough times, it will pass. No feeling lasts forever. But in the moment, this certainly doesn't feel true! In times of distress, pain, sadness, etc., it feels like it will always be this way. There is no ONE way to fix this. I have learned, in my own...

Last time , we talked about self-compassion: learning to be kind to ourselves. It is truly difficult to do this all the time, especially when life gets frustrating. Being kind to ourselves means that we acknowledge that: 1) No one is perfect 2) Struggles and challenges - and even mistakes - do not define us 3) We are not valuable or loved because of our appearances or accomplishments. While looking 'good' and being successful are important, we are worthy regardless of these 4) Being gentle and kind to ourselves means understanding that we are enough. But it also means that we can always grow and improve As we practice compassion to ourselves, it is helpful to have some coping statements to keep us focused on our values, goals, and dreams. There are different coping statements you can repeat at various times in your life. You can even make your own! Now, let's be real: sometimes you can say a statement to yourself - and it won't 'make anything better...

Welcome to part 4 in our series on breaking habits. The last post discussed tolerating distress, and alluded to the fact that practicing self-compassion can greatly help us here. This post will help clarify what it means to be compassionate to ourselves, and how we can go about doing this practically. We often hear about 'self love', but what does this truly mean? We often think that self-love means we need to love everything about ourselves - outside, inside, etc. And while this is true, it is often exaggerated because self-love really does not have to mean that you love yourself in all ways possible . Why do I say this? Because we all have things we wish we could change about ourselves. Instead, let's redefine self-love to ACCEPTANCE. We accept ourselves as we are - the parts we love, AND the parts that we don't love as much. When we look at it this way, self-compassion becomes a lot easier! (P.S. I recommend that you take time to see this site , where you can le...