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Breaking Habits Part Four: Self-Compassion

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Welcome to part 4 in our series on breaking habits. The last post discussed tolerating distress, and alluded to the fact that practicing self-compassion can greatly help us here. This post will help clarify what it means to be compassionate to ourselves, and how we can go about doing this practically. We often hear about 'self love', but what does this truly mean? We often think that self-love means we need to love everything about ourselves - outside, inside, etc. And while this is true, it is often exaggerated because self-love really does not have to mean that you love yourself in all ways possible . Why do I say this? Because we all have things we wish we could change about ourselves. Instead, let's redefine self-love to ACCEPTANCE. We accept ourselves as we are - the parts we love, AND the parts that we don't love as much. When we look at it this way, self-compassion becomes a lot easier! (P.S. I recommend that you take time to see this site , where you can le...

Breaking Habits Part Three: Tolerating the Distress

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This is part 3 in our series about Breaking Habits. Did you miss the last post? You can read about it here . Now, we know that we have a habit we want to break or change. We understand that there are steps we can take to do this, and we have a plan for how to achieve this. But then, like most new things - we start to make changes, and we feel uncomfortable. Worried. Anxious. Distressed. Angry. Fatigued. On one hand - we want to make the changes. On the other hand, we try to make changes, and we feel distressed. We so desperately want to keep up these new habits, but the discomfort and unfamiliarity is not pleasant. We want to go back to the comfort, the familiar.  Deep down, we know that the old, 'comfortable' habits were temporarily. They provided us with relief in the moment, but not in the long-term. And yet, this instant relief or freedom from discomfort is luring. This is when we need to practice distress tolerance. It is only by continuing to practice opposite acti...

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

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We'll get back to the series on breaking habits in the next post...because it is time to celebrate Christmas and the New Year! You probably already know - Christmas is my favourite holiday! There is something special about the lights, gifts, carols/music, gatherings, etc. that fills me with joy. Of course, this is the season where we celebrate Jesus' birth, making it a time of spirituality and peace. As I have grown, Christmas has changed - in a good way. As a child, I looked forward to the gifts and cookies the most. Now, these are still important to me now...but the meaning of Christmas has become deeper for me. Christmas is no longer simply about being surprised by presents; it is now a time of thanksgiving and reflection. As December comes to an end and we celebrate Christ's birth, it is an opportunity to look back on the previous year. I am extremely grateful for the blessings of 2018. It was by no means an 'easy' year; we have all faced challenges, obst...

Breaking Habits Part Two: Where to Start

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Last time, we introduced the topic of breaking habits. This is the second post, following the first . Changing our habits is no easy feat. To try to change the way we act, think, or do things is challenging because we have gotten so used to our patterns and routines. But sometimes, we get uncomfortable with our routines or habits. We find that they no longer serve us, or are no longer what we need in life. So, we decide that we want to break these habits...but where do we start with this? In my own life, I found that the first step to breaking a habit is to simply acknowledge that I want to change it. There is something that I don't feel comfortable with about this habit...I am comfortable WITH it - because it is so familiar to me. At the same time, I am uncomfortable with it because I no longer find that it helps me, or is useful at this time in my life. To recognize that there is a NEED for change is truly the first step. It is only in admitting that we WANT or NEED to chan...