Thursday, 6 December 2012

Do YOU like YOU?

Stop what you are doing. NOW. And think about this: right now, there is a person around the world thinking of how they hate themselves.

Have you felt like this before? Have you had the feeling that you are just irritated with who you are? You if you are frustrated with your life. And so you start to think about what is bad about you and what you would change if you could.

I'm like this a lot. Well, I don't think about what I'd change, but I do think about what I don't like about me. I start thinking about how I don't feel as beautiful as others. How I feel worthless and useless and lazy. How I'm tired of people bring rude and mean to me. How frustrated I am because I feel as though I'm not successful or special. Much of this is because of ED - he likes to make me think this way because it makes him feel good. It gives him the chance to get me down, hoping that I will hate myself so much that I'll return to him.

We all feel this way sometimes. It's as if we are just tired of who we are. At the same time, I struggle with listing good things about myself. I feel like saying that I'm good or strong or smart is being inflated and ignorant. Perhaps this is why I feel bad about myself sometimes - I've gotten used to seeing negative things about me, that saying something is good is like I'm being puffed-up.

But it's not. We all need to compliment ourselves. We need to appreciate what is special and good about us. If we don't love ourselves, who will? We can't depend on others to boost out self-esteem because this needs to come from within. Others can only see what's good in you if you have confidence. You need to know that you are talented. You are beautiful and handsome. You are strong and special. You ate unique because you are a child of God. You are wonderful because you are simply YOU!

No, it's not being arrogant or puffed-up. It's called 'being grateful for who I am because I am God's creation. And because I am me'. Arrogance is when you are overly-inflated and think that you are so great and that you can do all things alone. Confidence is when you know that others and God have helped you become who you are, being thankful for that, and learning to be appreciative of what you have and who you are.

So today, stop and take a second to thank God for who you are. Not because you are superior to others, but because you are special the way you are. Because inside of you is a world of gifts and talents that make you unique. Because you are loved by God.


  1. Since you considered yourself recovered does that mean you have no fear foods and will eat anything ? I still fear pizza and the thought of peanut butter brought me to tears.
    I still have fear foods so i consider myself in recovery not recovered

    1. im in recovery. im not perfect yet - i still have ways to go. but i am working hard. and im not giving into symptoms or to ED. fear foods are okay - you will get there someday! as long as you fight and eat, be healthy! all things take time. like i said, im IN recovery - it is a long process. but each day makes me stronger!

  2. It is true ,that ED inserts the thoughts in your head that you are not beautiful,worthless etc as this puts you down and drag you back to his arena.
    Be careful and be aware of the tricks and traps of ED

    Recovered ED victim

  3. to those comments regarding 'personifying' ED, it is not as though i hear voices in my head. rather, this is my thinking or the remainders of ED in my life. it is easier to personify it than call it 'me' because this makes it easier to fight it. while i do appreciate your concern, you need to realize that i do not have any other mental illnesses or 'issues; as you say. this is simply a strategy that i have learned - calling the eating disorder 'him' is a simple way of seeing that it is soemthing i need to work against - rather thank fighting myself. if you do ot understand this as being helpful, let me know, i will be more than GLAD to answer your concerns.

    1. That makes sense you are using this more as a metaphor. But a lot of people with ED do have issues like depression and anxiety. Sometimes it sounds like you might be struggling with depression and/or anxiety.

      They use a lot of meds off label for ED that are for depression and anxiety – Zoloft is one I think and also seroquel which is an antipsychotic is used to help with ED symptoms like insomnia

      maybe you should call him her. might sound less scary

  4. You know I struggled with ED many many years and lost many of my productive years because of it.I relapsed several times till eventually all over and I am completely recovered for more than 5 years .
    I know what you mean exactly and I also refer to ED as him.
    I know you well from your blog and I can remeber all what is written here about you.
    I separate the person from the disease .
    I know you are so smart,talented ,eduacated ,knowledgible and detrmind
    Ed tries to target top notch persons like you and me .
    I am glad We are recovered.
    I am watching my self very very closely in order to close on on any hint about ED
    Ed will not come close to my house door ,not even to my room door.
    ED is a history and I will fight ED every where ,any where ,all my life .
    That is why I am following your blog and share with you my thoughts as this blog is very helpful to all Ed victims even those who recovered like me.
    I do not see any shame in being ill ,one time as long as you recovered.I was depressed for years because of my ED and I had OCD thoughts
    Now I am normal
    Please look at the positives ,see the sunshine ,go the beauty store and use make up.
    Please give your self lots of credits.
    Please treat yourself the same if you knowa person same in your shoes ,how much honour and respect you will give or tell them they deserve .
    To be fair to yourself ,you need to treat your self well,
    You know what I mean

    I am proud of my self to say
    I am
    Recovered ED victim for more than 5 years

    1. I don’t necessarily think ED targets top notch people. I think people who are perfectionists, people pleasers, and feel validated by high accomplishments are prone to ED.

    2. Either this or this ,the good news is you can make the necssary changes in your life style and set goals that help both conditions.

  5. I am surprized if you do not like your self Marina .
    I can see many many people even on this blog who do not and never know you ,they love you and want communicate with you through this blog.
    If you do not like your self ,this is a thing that you can work on and change with or without help of a professional.
    When I was deeply depressed ,I locked myself in a room ,no shower ,no make up ,not calling friends ,not talking to my lovely family .. but all these changed when I started my working relationship with my family doctor who gave me questionataire of 9 questions to answer ,made the diagnosis ,satrted antidepression and Bam ,it worked and here I am
    My point ,YOU can change and start LOVE your self and your life


  6. Why are you harsh on yourself and judging yourself negatively?
    How do you feel if someone harsh on you and looking only at your weakness and not at your srength??

    My advice to you is be fair to yourself
    be gentle on your self
    Be nice and pleasant to yourself
    treat yourself like a pleasant dear friend who deserevs the best
    You will see how you feel then

    I do this to my self ,
    Remeber to love yourself does not mean you are selfish
    Love to others start by your love to yourself

    Welland ,On

  7. If I were you,and I am as articualte as you are
    I would look at things I do not like about my self and I start write them down and set goals and plan to change
    Making a change needs determination,commitment ,support from friends and persevernce and also time .
    I think you have all qualities to help you to change to the lovely person you would like yourself to be .


  8. I agree with Jack and Jen


  9. When I was slave to alcohol and depressed as a result,I credited my self for nothing.I considered my self not only useless,helpless ,worthless but harmful to my family ,when I asked for money all the time to buy alcohol,lost my part time job ,faltered on my duties and obligations.In was angry and verbally assaulted several family memebrs.
    Now I am better ,I am fair to myself and I love my body and soul ,I always make sure I am well rested and if no body will see the things that I am good at ,I see all of them myself.
    Many of your commentors who know you ,aware of achievement and accomlishments
    If only one thing you credit yourself for ,could be your recovery
    So mainatain your recovery and you will see yourself as the best as you would like


  10. I agree with jack

  11. Marina
    You are amazing person,
    Why on earth ,you can not sea the real Marina that every body adore and respect



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