Saturday, 23 February 2013

Something Special!

Something special.

There is something special about everyone. Something that makes you unique and wonderful.

ED used to make me think that I was special because I could survive without eating anything. I didn't need food. I was 'strong, I was special'. It was as though I was able to do what no one else could - I could function and NOT eat anything!

But now I see that that was wrong. It was a lie. I wasn't surviving - I was slowly dying. But I could not see it at the time. I was blinded. The drive to lose weight and stay thin was too strong and powerful - it was all I could think of. I wanted - no, I NEEDED to be thin. Nothing else mattered. If I was not thin, I was a failure. If I did not stay small, I was weak and powerless.

Of course, this was totally wrong. ED had me fooled. He took away my happiness, and he nearly got my life. So now without ED, it is as though I have nothing special about me - well, I am eating like everyone else. I am no longer the girl who could starve all day and still function well. It is a good thing. But now I am left to wonder...what is special about me?

I'm calling on all my readers and commenters to read this, think about yourself, and post. I want you to think of two things that are special about you. Anything. Maybe it is something that you can do that no one knows about. Maybe you have a special talent. Maybe you have an awesome personality. Whatever it is, think of it. Then please comment and tell me what it is. This is a great way to see just how wonderful you are - and it will help you realize how special and loved you are!

I'll start:
1) I love to sing. I don't know if I'm good, but I certainly enjoy it!
2) I'm good at public speaking. I don't get  nervous (most of the time), and I feel that I'm an articulate speaker.

How about YOU?


  1. Thanks Marina for helping me see the real ME and not seeing my body through others mirror.
    I think I will love my body including my male breast ,knowing that is ME .
    I started feeling better and I attribute this to you.
    I will follow your blog as it is helpful for every body to appreciate ourselves and care for ourbodies

    Thanks aggain

  2. Marina ,
    You are talking exactly about ME and may be also you and may be also all ED victims.
    I think that is why ED blinds the victim from seeing the truth.Ed changes the brain in a way ,that I can not understand, so that We think and belive in only what ED driving us to.
    After recoevry we now start to see his lies and deception.
    Excellent explaination of ED tricks.
    I hope that Nanaraj and Kapoor read this and never fall into ED traps
    My regards to all of you guys

    Recovered ED victim

  3. Hi Marina
    This is Mohammed again.
    I think you have a lot special about you,your honesty ,altruism ,detrmination,hard work ,talented,articulate , excellent writer and people who knows you said you are very beautiful.

    I do not agree with you that you have to have something special about you.
    The only thing that I brag about is my honesty and my family.
    I am a normal person ,making mistakes like any body else ,trying my best ,does not smoke or drink ,love my family and I care .
    You have many things special than all of us.
    Once again first time I disagree with you (hopefully you are not mad at me)you do not have to be unique ,special or talented .
    We all human ,and we need to respect each others .

    With my very humble respect


    1. Well said! I agree - although loving your family and caring IS special!

  4. I used to hate my breasts i used to think they were a sign i was fat, or at least that is what ED told me. Now i love them and realize they are beautiful. Breasts are beautiful ! i get a lot of compliments on my breasts actually, not to mention my bootie. I know embrace my curves.

    1. I like what you said Tiffany.
      I do love my breast and I noted all men want to look at women's breast .
      I feel a women ,beauty when Isee my breast and my hunch.
      You can not be a women ,if you do not have breasts and buttocks,
      I am not fat
      I love my body ,my self and my family and that is the thing that is special about me.
      I am not a study ,read girl.
      I fail courses and had to repat them several times
      Poor me

  5. My special is make sure I am looking beautiful from head to toe.
    Nothing else matter me.
    You know I am a girl

    Sandra D

  6. The one thing special about me is my ability to smile all the time to every body.
    It makes my day easier and less stressful


  7. The one thing special about me is giving the best care to my kids.
    I am a mom


  8. The one thing I am good at is making sure I am haelthy and in good shape.I see my doctor regularly and I am taking my vit D 4,000 units daily ,2 garlic cloves daily


  9. The only thing special about me is my self and my personality and I am proud about them.
    Other wise I do not have any thing ready special.
    I am just a normal person
    Isn't enough?


    1. Anything is special! The point is to see that there is ALWAYS something to be loved about yourself! :)

  10. I love about my self being a beautiful girl.

  11. You are right Marina
    Ed used to insert in my mind that I am healthy and I am strong and talented and beauty even if I am eating very little,struggle to sleep and I have no friends who liked me .
    Now I know my self I was very sick so that I was in denial and I was not really aware of what is right or wrong.

    My plan in recovery helping me see the real ME.
    Now I am proud of myself and I discovered few things specail about myself ,let me share them with you and your readers .
    I am special is my making my decision to choose life ,not death.To choose recovery not illness,even if in both I have to struggle but I chose to struggle to recover rather than to die in pain.
    I am unique in feeling good about myself when I think how I made my decision to go to inpateint program and I do not regret it but infact I am proud of myself doing this and I feel you and me set example to many ED to seek recoevry.

    I also feel special that no matter how long it takes me to recover I will continue and I will not go to my school before my doctors assures me that I am fully recovered .

    I am unique also that I read your story in your blog and I am one of the first people to interact with you and I did listen and believe in you and your advise and guide and this brought me to where I am now ,otherwise I would be very sick or even not alive if I did not listen to you.

    I am also proud that I am grateful to you and I owe you my life and my good healthy.
    I owe you my freedom from the abusive and controlling ED


  12. I love about my self is being humble and accomodating.
    I try all my best to give people what they want if I can .I let them hear from me what they like and avoid saying any thing may annoy them.I like to let my boss and co-workers see my smile and good work and my professional behaviours.
    I make sure I am beautiful and dress well also.
    Otherwise I have nothing special I like to be in the middle ,even at school when they used to compete,I liked to be in the middle .
    This is me



  13. When I was abusing alcohol,I ruined every thing in my life and my family life.Thankfully since I recovered ,I am getting my life back and the best thing I am proud of my self of is my awareness to any temptation of alcohol or similar substances .


  14. I like your comments to encourage those who think they have nothing special about them.
    As you know I suffered years with my ED and at that time the special about me was not different than you which is I was convinced that I am better and stronger without eating enough till I crashed.
    My recovery was long but I learnt many many skills

    Now after 6 years of recovery ,I am proud of my self to say ,here what is special about new ME after I changed.
    1-I am able to make the change if I want and if I believe in it
    2-I am in control and no body can impose any thing on me
    3-I am able to control my emotion and my feeling and I like every thing and every body in moderation
    When I love ,I love but not toooo much so that when my lover breaks up with me ,this will not break my toothpick.
    I do not hate any body ,any thing and when I do not like any body or any thing ,I am able to live with this
    4-I am making my opinion based on wise mind ,not on emotion and I believ nothing is absolutely right or wrong ,black or white .
    5-I am no longer obsessed with ED thoughts,temptaions,tricks ,traps etc.

    it took me years and years to master those skills and now I live normal life like any body and I am proud of my self.

    I respect your blog,opinions and experience and attitude.
    you do not know how your blog is helpful to many people including myself.
    Keep up
    I am in complete support of you

    Recovered ED victim x 6 years

  15. The only thing I have is my smile.
    I am trying my best ,sometimes I do well ,sometimes not but overall I am happy and content.
    I take things easy and some people say "you do not care" and is not true ,I do care but I am easy going and this makes me happy and I feel no stress.
    Am right or I am foolish and naeive?


  16. Marina
    I do not have any thing to brag about.
    I was and I am still pullied and I look ugly and I do not think any girl no matter what can accept me.I am not attractive at all to any woman.
    The only thing may be o k ,I am still love my self and my body and I will never get depressed as I am a believer.


    1. I feel the same thing.I do not have any thing to brag about except my moustashe.
      I was lazy at school ,hardly comleted grade 12.
      I do not and do not expect girls to love me and I am planning go back home and look for traditional marriage.
      What can I do ??


  17. Only one thing I take pride for my hair.
    I am a failure at school,criticied by my teachers.I am bugging my friends at school with helping me finish my homework
    At home ,I am a mess and my parents yell at me.
    Howver I am proud of my self.
    I dated 6 BF so far ,I do not like to stay with one long period ,,,as I feel bored with them.
    You know boyes are boring!!


  18. I like my self when I go out for a date.
    I have many good clothes and I am well or say best dressed girl
    Otherwise I am not good at any thing and you can mention


  19. I am very good at soccer .I am very bad in treating girls,I yells and cheat on my GFs .I was a failure at schoold and I am not a hard worker at all.
    I am a sales manager and I am making the least money.
    I am trying to be a professional soccer player.
    Pray for me


  20. I am very good as a public speaker and as a mentor and I raise awareness .


  21. I hear may boys calling me sexy as I enjoy my big breasts and rounded full sexy female buttocks.
    Unfortunately I have nothing else to brag about

    Isn't it enough



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