Wednesday, 25 September 2013

The Battlefield: Sense of Taste

I have a confession to make: I used to be absolutely terrified of grocery stores and grocery shopping. I hated it. I would walk into the store and see so much food in one place and become anxious. It would also make me frustrated because as much food as there was, I could not eat any. I could not even buy myself a piece of fruit to munch on, a drink to sip, or a meal to prepare.

ED made me feel this way. Why go to a grocery store where there will be food that you don't want and can't have anyways? Look at all those people shopping! Sure, they may look happy during grocery shopping. But what about after they eat? They will GAIN WEIGHT! Do you want that? I don't think so. Avoid grocery stores - they are useless and give you the temptation of wanting to eat! You foolish girl! You are hungry? HA! Have some self-control!

You can imagine that this meant that I did not eat a wide variety of foods during ED. What I are was very limited because I was afraid and reluctant to try new things. Some people with ED even have a list of 'safe foods' that they are comfortable eating. Anything out of that list is a definite 'no'. Others, in complete contrast, may love grocery stores. Some patients with ED find that they become ore obsessed with food as a 'theme' in that they are somewhat obsessed with going to see food and making it (as well as reading recipes), but they don't actually eat any. The biological explanation for this might be that their brains are hungry and trying to motivate them to eat by exposing them to food (ex/ recipes, stores), but that ED is too strong and stops them from eating.

In my case, like many others, the opposite was true. I refused to look at recipes, shows, or stores that involved food. I did not want to go grocery shopping. Even after starting recovery, I was eating, but I still did not eat from a wide variety. It was not until a while ago that I realized that my body needed change. I was eating and that was good. But it would be challenging to try new foods and see what they were like. Part of this stems from the fact that ED actually blunts our sense of taste. Again, think about this: the brain shuts down the taste centre because it realizes that you aren't eating. Thus, in early recovery, I actually had no sense of taste. Everything tasted the same, and I did not enjoy anything at all. However, as time passed by, I realized that I started to get this taste sense back. I could make choices on what I enjoyed eating and what I did not. Of course, ED was far from pleased at the fact that I was starting to gain my taste appreciation back. So, what do you do when ED hates something? You do it again and again to tick him off!

My mom, one of the strongest people I know and my most loving supporter, helped me with this. She took me to grocery stores and helped me choose different foods that I wanted to taste - without any pressure. We went the other day and she told me to look around and put things in the cart. Then, we talked about what I should try, and we bought it. She did not force me to get anything. She just stood there and helped me gather items, and then she listened to my preferences and helped me make a decision. She did not even care how expensive any item was - she bought it for me. Over the next week, I will be trying these new items to see what I like and what I dislike. If I like it, then bonus - it is a keeper! If not, then I have successfully helped myself regain a sense of taste and appreciation for food. With the dedication I have made to recovery, I can now eat a variety of meals and enjoy them too! It must be strange for others without ED to read this and wonder how someone can develop an aversion to food, but you need to understand how important this milestone is. I went from being very ill and not having a sense of taste to being healthy and regaining my appreciation for different flavours and textures. This can take years to happen, especially since I have been suffering with ED for about 7 years. FINALLY! This milestone has given me hope and encouragement. With practice, time, patience, hope, support, love, and motivation, good things happen. ED is on his way out.

37 comments:

  1. What a terrible disease that denies victims the basic needs of life "food"

    Sally

    ReplyDelete
  2. So ED way to control victims is by leading them to believe that they only have self control only only if stop eating and also shopping for foods!!!
    Shame on ED

    Juliana

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am so sorry that you were denied what others enjoy.

    Lenus

    ReplyDelete
  4. Is that right??
    ED can block sense of tase .
    What a terrible monster.

    Good news you are now free of his chains for ever.


    Jaswinder

    ReplyDelete
  5. Tick him off.
    Enjoy the taste.
    You got your sense of taste back after he denied it to you.
    ED goes to hell and you enjoy and live happy life to the fullest

    Ivanka

    ReplyDelete
  6. I happy that you now tasting and enjoying your meals
    Keep going and never again let ED have a say in your life

    Jenn
    Welland

    ReplyDelete
  7. I am hopeful to recover from my irritable bowel syndrome same as you recovered from ED .
    I hope I can enjoy my food too as you are doing after recovery.
    My irritable bowel does not let me enjoy foods I love.

    Johanna

    ReplyDelete
  8. Lucky you having a wonderful mother.
    I think God sent this loving and caring mother to show this world how mothers love and care.
    Your mother is as strong as you are.
    She shows love and respect to you.

    Shoubhan

    ReplyDelete
  9. Yes Marina
    With love ,support and good work and on top having a great mother beside you(best mom and best therapist) you have made a significant progress by challenging the core of ED(aversion to foods).
    Please taste and try the food and It is o k if you do not like some or even all.
    We taste and then We choose what kind of food we like .
    I am very proud of you and your mom

    Kelly W

    ReplyDelete
  10. WOW Marina.
    Kudos to you and your mom.
    Even though I feel myself also completely recovered but still I have not come to this point and challenge myself to go and shop for food.
    Please taste all items and select what you favor.
    You are a leader and pioneer


    Anne

    ReplyDelete
  11. That is a good news that slowly but surely you are crushing all ED armamentarium.

    Hamza

    ReplyDelete
  12. Marina
    You will not believe me if I tell you that since I was 11 I have been refusing going out with my parents ,eating out or shopping. When I want buy clothes I go with my friend.
    Now since I met you here I have been in recovery and I will never return back.
    ED is over.
    I am slowly tasting and enjoying foods I haven's been eating since I was 11.
    I am back to normal life and going getting the grocery for my family.
    At first I was like a baby weaning from mother breast and I was trying one food at a time little by little.
    Now I am mature !!!!!

    I am happy that you are breaking the second leg of ED !!!

    Nanaraj(Nana)

    ReplyDelete
  13. I am really happy for you that you able to taste what ED denied you for 7 years.
    I hope you enjoy.

    Lillian

    ReplyDelete
  14. I am so sorry that you were forbidden from even tasting what God has gifted us(natural food for our flesh) for 7 full years. How terrible is that.
    Thank God with complete recovery you are making the decision to shop ,try and taste .
    Blessed is the Lord.

    Mary
    Mississauga

    ReplyDelete
  15. No body can imagine how a disease can force victims not to eat ,taste or even shop for grocery for years.
    I am sorry for your torture with this disease and congratulate you for liberating yourself from his slavery.

    Way to go.

    Maritza

    ReplyDelete
  16. I command you for beating this monster strong and hard.
    Continue hitting him and hopefully We can eradicate this disease for ever.

    Solomon

    ReplyDelete
  17. Millions of thumbs up as you are progressing in recovery and winning the battle against the monster.

    Mehta

    ReplyDelete
  18. If people say "you are a GEM"
    I will say you are the most precious one

    Blanchette

    ReplyDelete
  19. You deserve the best taste and flavor.

    Hend

    ReplyDelete
  20. You are a hero !!!

    Rodica

    ReplyDelete
  21. I am praying for you to have a happy life and forget all the sufferings that you had to patiently endure.

    Shady

    ReplyDelete
  22. Keep up the motivation and leading others to complete recovery.

    Josefina

    ReplyDelete
  23. Amazing you are not only winning the battle but crushing ED and giving him a big lesson that he never forgets.

    Kadisha

    ReplyDelete
  24. Yes Marina
    Teach Ed the lesson that never be forgotten

    Anastashia.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Despite the tough 7 years ,you are now victorious.
    My congratulations for winning an important battle in your life.

    With my humble respect

    Mohammad

    ReplyDelete
  26. Pleased to know that you are cleaning any trace of ED .

    Zak

    ReplyDelete
  27. I hope you can catch up with what ED taken from you for 7 years.

    Sandra D

    ReplyDelete
  28. Keep crushing all ED arms one at a time.
    I am very proud of you Marina

    Mays

    ReplyDelete
  29. I urge you to taste all foods and enjoy what you like .

    Pierrette

    ReplyDelete
  30. Congratulations for regaining taste sensation back and overcoming big hurdle ED puts into recovery

    Carlos

    ReplyDelete
  31. I like the picture giving you thumbs up and so do I.
    Thumbs up for perseverance and success after success.
    Please give your self all the credits .
    No body ,doctors or nurses done this for you.
    You did it by yourself and for yourself and showed others that life has to continue despite the challenges and one can make a difference and We can change the course of the disease.

    Sebastian

    ReplyDelete
  32. I agree with Sebastian.
    Thumbs up to you girl

    Clorado

    ReplyDelete
  33. This post gives hope to many people with any chronic disease.

    Halala

    ReplyDelete
  34. Congratulations for beating ED
    You deserve more than people comments about you.

    Navidad

    ReplyDelete
  35. Hey
    I do love all the good comments about youth one I love the most is you are leading the way for those suffering chronic disease to have hope in recovery.

    CJ

    ReplyDelete
  36. You are really Ms. Hope .I remember people calling you Ms. Hope over this post.
    Keep your fingers crossed as you are sending messages of hope and recovery from chronic diseases ,once medicine thought intractable .

    Penny
    Medical student

    ReplyDelete
  37. Thank you everyone! I appreciate all the love and support! I am strong because of all your help! :)

    ReplyDelete

Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.