Saturday, 22 June 2013

Another Anniversary!

One year ago on June 21, I was discharged from the hospital. I remember being thrilled that I was leaving (finally!), but I was also scared. What would happen next? Would my life actually return to normal again? My parents were scared that I would not do well outside the hospital, so they were worried that I would get sick again. And they had a right to feel this way, of course. I was not so sure myself if recovery would be possible.

I got out of the hospital with a plan: I was going to do well. But this was easier said than done. Eating was still very challening. I was on the waiting list for an inpatient ED progra,m, which I was not thrilled about. The first month at home was challening. It was full of fights with my parents about how much food was enough, how much I should weigh, who would weigh me, etc. It was not fun, to say the least. I was still in a phase where I did not really know what I had to do for my body. Then, a month later, I got called into the inpatient program. I have already written posts about that, so there is no need to be redunant. Suffice to say, I completed a month in the program until I felt that it was my time to go. I left the program knowing that I would do well outside because I was determined.

I have no regrets whatsoever. I am often asked if I wished that I entered the program before I got so sick and ended up in the ICU. To be honest, I do not think that I would have ever gone into the program for help if I had not gotten so sick. ED fooled me into thinking that I was fine, and I never really saw the what 'big deal' was about if I did not eat. Now, I am not reccomending this to others. Acutally, if you need help, I think that you should not wait. Get it now. But in my experience, I have no regrets. I know that God worked out everything for my good. Perhaps making me have the experience in the ICU showed me how bad my condition was, and it made me realize that I needed to eat and be healthy if I planned on living a happy life.

A year later, I am eating all my meals. I no longer fight with my parents about what to eat, because this is MY job. I know what to eat, how much, and when. I ask my parents for groceries, and sometimes, they make my meals for me. But there are no arguements, becaus I have taken the responsibility for my well-being. This is a BIG change from how life was before. In fact, now I can safely say that ED is almost gone. I rarely, if ever, get thoughts from ED. Of course, I still have days when I feel fat or ugly. But I don't have them often. And although I feel full after meals, I know that this too will take time. I am blessed to have survived such a hard journey and to have benefitted and learned from my experiences. It is amazing how much God can teach us through our hardships.

Think about a hard time that you have recently experienced. It probably felt terrible and scarey. But, if you can think about the outcome now, I am sure you will be able to find something good that came out of it. Maybe you became wiser, stronger, smarter, braver, or kinder. Maybe you learned something new. Or maybe you helped others through your experience. My dad always tells me that tough times never last. And my mom always tells me that what does not break you makes you stronger. They are indeed right. These two phrases are words to live by - I am proof of that.

PS: I have added something new to my blog to help readers follow it! If you would like to be notified by email each time I add a new post, simlpy add your email to the buttom of the page where it says 'subscribe my email'. This will keep you updated and help you get the most of your reading experience!

50 comments:

  1. Happy Day to you as a survivor.
    You broke the legs of ED,you broke the record in healing and recovery from ED in short time with no or little professional help.
    You broke the record in giving hope to all those who suffer.
    Happy aniversary to you.

    Sandra Kitson

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  2. What a big difference a year can make.

    Savana

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  3. Happy anniversary Marina

    Anastashia

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  4. Thanks for the offer re notifications.
    I do check on your blog daily or eevry otherday the most unless during vacations.
    Happy anniversay and continue the great amazing recovery journey.

    Mays

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  5. Happy anniversary from Annanthan

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  6. One year in recovery is a very happy moment.
    Please Celebrate your one year of recovery..

    Korisha

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  7. The recovery to me worth much much more that winning super Lottery or Super ball
    Congratulations and happy first Anniversay of your recovery

    Sorina

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  8. Happy Day to remember Marina.
    I am one of those who have been following your blog from the begining and I remember you said they had to discharge you so quickly because there were more sick people and no beds and your parents were upset and worried.
    Now you amde the recoevry possible on your own.You said to parents and all of us that you are confident that you can recover at home if family stay beside you

    You did it Marina

    My heartfilled congratulations.

    Zak

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  9. Now I believe you Marina
    You said that you are determind and you made your own choice to recover.You said it will work as it is your own choice and no one else ,even your parents are imposing this choice on you.
    Here you are ,you proved that you are responsible and reliable.You are honest and trustworthy.
    You are setting a role model for many of those who can take responsibility for their own health.
    WOW

    You are a wonderful person and so I am sending to my the best congratulation for first Anniversay of a precious recovery.

    Jack

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  10. You reminded me of my dad who was heavy smoker .He used to smoke4 packs daily and We could not tolerate the smell of smoke even on his clothes and no matter what doctors,nurses or family told and warned him,no way ,he shrugged our comments off till one day was driving and felt pain and pressure on his chest,luckly he saw sign of Oakville Travalgar Hospital and once he went all hospital staff quickly took him,one did blood ,hooking him to monitors.
    To make story short ,he left hospital after 4 days with 5 medication to take fopr life and rehabiltion program


    No guesss ,since then no single cigarette did he lit!!!

    Some times you need something harsh to shake and wake you up

    Congrat for your Anniversay recovery and for my dad free of toxins


    Sally

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  11. God allows certain things to happen to us for a good reason that later will be clear and understood but at the same time ,you may say why God let it happen ,why me ??
    In your case Marina ,I believe God showed you that ED is lier and your parents were honest and loving.
    Also God this hardship made you a stronger person and showed the best of you when you on your own showed your self and others you can make the difference.
    You not only recovered but you continued your school and writing one of the best and trustworthy blog and you are an example for others to strieve do the same if they want to make a differnce .

    May God bless you and add happiness to your life

    Sunday Priest

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  12. Your recovery deserve a hige celebration and a big anniversary cerimony

    Happy Anniversary Marina

    Shady
    Mississauga

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  13. One important thing all of us need to remember is how you took on the responsibility of your own recovery and you did believe in your self and your ability to do it alone ,withour hospital or program supervison and you sucessfully did it !!! that is a big WOW
    Happy Anniversay Marina

    Hesham

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  14. Happy Anniversay

    Natividad

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  15. One year since recovery began ,WOW !!
    Happy one

    Casciano

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  16. I am very happy for you

    Arthur Macedo

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  17. Thids is the Anniversay that should never been forgotten and should always been remembered and celebrated by you,family ,readrers and all those who has or had suffered

    Vito Viscomi

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  18. I agree this should never be forgotton.
    Congrat Marina

    Kosabgy

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  19. I am 71 years old and I have 2 sick daughters and I am healthy and well.
    I am still celebrating my oldest one recovery after she had complicated surgery 11 years ago.
    Your recovery is the most important event that your family should remember and celebrate

    Allman Jones

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  20. Happy Anniversary

    Somaya

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  21. May be only few posts that you do not mention your family support and how this helingful to maintain recovery and I completely agree.
    Recently my G P diagnosed my father with Alzheimer and she did spend good time talking about how family support and undersatnding play an important role in avoiding worsening of his condition.
    Happy anniversary to you and your family

    Lillian

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  22. Happy Anniversary

    Horta

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  23. I am doing GI rotation now and I am happy to know that new treatment for Hepatitis C is working well now and relapse rate in becoming lower.We assess recovery by relapse rate and We re-test every 3-6 months.We define sustained recovery if maintain recovery without relapse for more than 6 months-1 year,.as the rate of relapse is very low if client amintain recovery for 1 year


    Now Marina ,you are successful maintained your recovery for one whole year without relapse.
    I have no study about relpase from ED but I can guess that will be very low if you maintain recovery for one year.

    Congratulations Marina and please continue to maintain your recovery without relapse as you are very unique in how you treated your own ED by your self.
    You are making breathrough in treating ED

    Penny
    Medical student

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    Replies
    1. Unfortunately, ED does not play by many rules. There is a constant and imminent risk of relapse. Marina has truly defied the odds.
      Tiger Lily

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    2. So all of us can credit Marina for making breakthrough in medicine and We encourage all ED victims to follow Marina's path.
      Bravo Marina

      Kelly W
      Therapist TO

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  24. WOW
    Congrat

    Irina

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  25. The benifit of complete recovery that I have not emntion before is Celebrating your success and recieving rewards and congratultions.

    May God bless you Marina

    Mary
    Mississauga

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  26. Happy Anniversary

    Kathy

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  27. Your one year Anniversary is a graet Victory to me and all of us who has or had ED.
    How nice,sweet and invigorating is the word recovery.
    Trust me Marina ,I only felt how good recovery is and how bad is the disease when my recovery wheel started to roll after I met you on your wonderful blog.
    By the way I completed my program and I have only to follow up with my doctors and therapist evry 1-3 months but they will be availble to me by phone or email if I need them
    I do not think I need them as I have your blog and really more than enough

    Happy Anniversary to you and your family
    Exactly next year ,you will celebtarte sencod Annersary and I will celebrate mine


    Anne

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    Replies
    1. Again, Anne, I am so proud of you. Look how far you have come - amazing. God bless you. Stay strong and keep fighting because you are more than able to do so!

      Delete
  28. Marina ,this is a a very happy moment.

    Carlos

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  29. Your complete recovery worth billions.I hope you enjoy and make the celebrations that this moment deserves.

    Blanchette

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  30. Happy Anniversary Marina

    Raja

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  31. I am very happy for you.
    You are very responsible and reliable

    Clorado

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  32. Happy Anniversary

    Eric

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  33. Marina ,You are amazing and the least is to celebtrate this moment year after year

    Sandra D

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  34. For sure you broke all records and all odd and this is new hope for all ED victims
    Please celebrate

    Morandan

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  35. I take my hat off for you Marina in your recoevry Anniversary

    Gangji

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  36. Happy Anniversary

    Cindrella

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  37. Recovery from ED is a meomrable moment for all of us to mark and celebrate .

    Mobayed

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  38. We congratulate you Marina and all ED victim for making the hope and wish for recovery is a reality

    Shahinaz

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  39. Hola Marina
    God bless
    Happy one

    Edwina

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  40. I wish you all the best .Happy first Anniversary.
    You are an Angel

    Piush

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  41. Marina
    You may not believe me ,when I say I am as happy for your recovery as if I am one of your family or dear friends even I may never see or meet you personally except through your blog.
    You are such a motivator and hopeful person.

    Larivierre

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  42. As far as I experienced my self as time goes by ,it becomes easier to maintain the recovery and get all life normality without any hint or teasing by ED as Ed will be remote history.
    The hardest day was the first after my inpatient and the hardest week was the first and the hardest year was the first year and now I am 6 and half years after my recovery without relapse .I can tell now that really my ED was a remote past .
    I am not as educated ,knowledgeable or skilled as you Marina .
    However I can share my story.

    Recovered ED victim

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    Replies
    1. You are an inspiration and motivatin to us all. God bless you

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  43. Also it is the anniversary of my daughter returning to her normal mind and normal behaviour since you woke me up by your honest advise to watch her and support her .I did not know that she was heading towards the monster ED until you said in your first few posts. I followed your advise and here she is and I am too living happy and both she and me once again able to be friends again .When she was behaving as ED tells her in her head ,I almost lost her.

    Thanks Marina
    You recovered and you helped others with you.
    Your success is meaningful ,not only to you and your family but to many others who felt you are a caring individual

    JP a Thankful mother

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    Replies
    1. I am so amazed at your love and care for your daughter. You have done a wonderful job. God bless you both and keep you for one another!

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  44. My mom is recently went through menopause and has been moody and I am hoping she will get better and so I asked her to read your blog and see how positive thinking can make miracles .

    Shamila

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  45. Thank you to everyone! I am amazed at the love and kindness you all show. God bless all of you. Truly, this blog would be meaningless without all my readers and commenters. Thank you! I am here today because of all the support you have shown me!

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