There's something I hate about getting back from the holidays. It's the fact that I know that now the real work begins - no more relaxing or doing nothing.
Now that the break is over, school begins. The work starts accumulating. The tests and assignments are listed. The stress comes along. The sleepless nights ensue. The rushing and lack of time is upon us. It's crazy!
The fact is, school is fun. I enjoy it, but it's when it gets stressful that I hate it. It makes me feel trapped and worried. I get caught up in all my work, so I feel stressed. I wish there was a balance between all this.
Part of me accepts that this is my job. I have to study and work to get my degree. But the other part of me feels that the break went by too quickly. And I don't quite feel ready to get into 'work' mode again! Sometimes, I feel hopeless. Like today.
I had a long day today. I had to wake up super early to get to my clinical placement, and I spent the whole day there. It was a tiresome experience. I enjoyed it, and I got really excited to see all the awesome things that the hospital had to offer....but I was nevertheless tired. And this made me miserable. I came home, broke down, and cried. I felt hopeless. I felt tired, frustrated, and sad. I don't know what happened - I just burst. Thankfully, my mom and sister calmed me down (thanks guys! I love you!).
This got me thinking: what on earth happened to make me feel this way? Sure, I had a hard day. But I have been through worse experiences...so why did this make me feel so angry and sad? I think it was just the stres starting to acculumate. I felt as though this year would be so ovcrwhelming. The workload (from my schedule) just looked too much. I doubted my ability to do it. And as I am writing this, I still do not feel great. I am worried about the stress that I will go through. I am scared that I will not be able to do it all. I am already dreading the stress and frustration that will occur.
It'll take time to get used to it. This is my job. It's what I do, and I love it. Maybe I just need to find a way to make it less stressful - perhaps not to freak out over every assignment or test. But this too will take time to get used to. Practice makes perfect! And maybe I am thinking too far ahead. Perhaps I need to take it a bit slower, one day at a time. But I am not the type of person who is good at this particular task. Sometimes I can cope, others I cannot. And today, I feel 'down'. I am probably just ovwerhelmed. I need to find ways to bring my mood up, to de-stress.
I'll likely end up getting through this. I will just sit with my family, read a good book, play on my phone, and watch a good movie. That will help....I hope.
So...does anyone have any 'stress relieving tips'? Please share!