Saturday, 23 November 2013

'Why you should date a girl with ED'

Unfortunately, there are still many people in our society that don't understand how serious and deadly eating disorders are. Very recently, this article appeared on the internet:
http://www.returnofkings.com/21313/5-reasons-to-date-a-girl-with-an-eating-disorder.

As a quick summary, the male author of this article claims that males should try to date a girl with an eating disorder (ED) because of the many 'advantages' this has for him. He gives five reasons for this: the girl wont be eating, so the man doesn't have to pay for her food. She is also probably rich since most girls who have ED are rich; thus, the man can get money off the girl. The author also mentions that  Oh, and she will be skinny, so you don't need to worry about being teased in public for being in a relationship with a 'fat girl'. Plus, she is insecure about her body, so she will always come to you looking for appreciation about her body...and if you give her a few compliments, she will agree to have sex with you.

DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE A HUGE PROBLEM HERE? I couldn't believe that someone had the audacity to write this article, and that it actually got posted n the internet. This is disgusting, horrible, untrue, and foolish. Firstly, if this man knew anything, he would know that ED is a mental illness and that his article is neither funny nor true. Secondly, is using someone's sickness to your advantage a wise and fair thing to do? If the female is ill with ED, is using this to have sex with her being loyal and honest? Is that all relationships are about - sex and money? The victim with an ED needs help, support, and love - not a foolish and egotistic man to use her as an object. And what about all the myths and wrong words in this article? Are ALL people with ED rich? No. Are they all thin? No. Do they all have such low confidence in themselves that they would easily sleep with any man who told them that they were not fat? No.

What does this article say about ED? That it is not a serious illness. That ED is, ultimately, a choice that females make because they want attention and simply want  a man in their lives. That someone with ED does not need treatment - that all she needs is to hear that she is not fat, and then all will be well. This article belittles that ED can kill any of his victims. The author makes ED seem like a glamorous choice that victims choose, and that using this to have sex with a girl is a perfectly normal and acceptable thing to do. This man is forgetting that ED is the number one killer among all mental illnesses; he is disregarding the fact that people with ED are in need of loving and genuine people in their lives. In effect, he is saying that all males should try to date a girl with ED because she is cheaper to please, easy to persuade into having sex, and likely rich at the same time.

Perhaps this author may say that his article was meant to be funny and that he meant no harm. But is this a joking matter? No. Would it be funny if I wrote an article about why you should date someone with cancer because chemotherapy would make them lose hair, so they would spend less on hairdressers? No. Would it be funny if I wrote about how you should date someone with depression because the person would be so sad all the time that you could easily convince them to sleep with you? No. Would it be entertaining if I wrote about how you should date someone who is blind because then they can't see what you are actually doing? No.

So, why are EDs any different? Maybe its because some people still don't understand that they are serious illnesses. Maybe its because this man is simply looking for attention and thought that this was funny. Or maybe its for both reasons, and even more. But whatever the case is, this article is unacceptable. It not only hurts those who are ill with ED, but also those who recovered and anyone who knows someone with/used to have ED. This article is false, useless, and disrespectful. I don't understand how anyone would have the nerve to write or even think of something like this. But sadly. this world is full of foolish people who are too stubborn to open their minds and learn about what is right and what is not. to be honest, I feel sorry for this author because he doesn't know how much damage he is doing to others. He doesn't understand EDs, nor does he know about what constitutes a healthy relationship. Is having a relationship with someone only about sex and money? Is that what true love is? Is love only about getting what you want from the other person and not helping them or supporting them with what they need? There are so many wrong things about this article. The only beneficial thing that comes out of this article is that it shows us how one distorted thought and the misconceptions about ED can be harmful and even deadly to others. Be informed, and don't make the mistakes that this foolish author did. Right now, he may not understand why his article is inappropriate and hurtful. But when he meets someone with ED and he sees their struggles, he will regret that he ever wrote such an awful thing. Or maybe he won't ever understand why his article is wrong. Whatever the case is, I feel sorry for him. He is misinformed, not funny, and inappropriate. He needs help, and he needs to get educated before he writes such detrimental and foolish things.

'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails' (1 Corinthians 13: 4-8).

40 comments:

  1. I always look at the positive like you Marina .
    Here is my positive view of this article is encouging boys to date girls who has or had ED.

    Mary
    Mississauga

    ReplyDelete
  2. He failed to mention that ED victims are the strongest, determined ,goal focused ,achiever and beautiful etc.

    Nanaraj

    ReplyDelete
  3. Love never fail.
    I command you for this picture and for your faith and trust in God.
    God is love.
    I understand that people who has or had ED are ;lovely friendly and compassionate .

    Sunday Priest

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  4. I am looking for some one who treat me as normal individual ,once happened to be sick with a disease but now I am recovered and well .The tough disease made me tougher and stronger and I learnt lots from my disease, my recovery and from this blog.

    Anne

    ReplyDelete
  5. What is better to start my day(I just woke up) than reading this.
    'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails' (1 Corinthians 13: 4-8).

    Shady

    ReplyDelete
  6. Who on earth is this author?

    Anastashia

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  7. I bet this author is one of those who just need some teaching about the myths and truth of ED.

    With my humble respect

    Mohammad

    ReplyDelete
  8. I am disgusted from the author's views but very proud of yours.

    Sally

    ReplyDelete
  9. We are in free country and respect every body ideas and opinions but this author has gone so far and his opinion is not worth any respect.
    I agree with the positive thing that ED victims have good characters and personality and happy those who will marry one of them.

    Kelly W

    ReplyDelete
  10. I thank you for the picture that shows love and care and hope.

    Hend

    ReplyDelete
  11. What a stupid and idiot author.

    Kadisha

    ReplyDelete
  12. Is there a way I can privately e-mail you?

    ReplyDelete
  13. I enjoy living a Christian single life, taking the opportunity to spend time increasing in character, and discovering God’s purpose for my life. If we want God to send us a Boaz we have to mirror Ruth. Boaz was drawn to Ruth because of her kindness, self respect, and her character. Ruth 3:10-11: “The LORD bless you, my daughter,” he replied. “This kindness is greater than that which you showed earlier: You have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor. And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All my fellow townsmen know that you are a woman of noble character.”
    <3 <3 <3 <3 Bethany

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I believe both Marina and Bethany are noble characters too as Ruth.
      May God bless you both.

      Mays

      Delete
  14. I question the credibility of this author.

    Hamza

    ReplyDelete
  15. The author should keep his weird opinions to himself.
    If he feels he is a writer ,he need to study ,learn ,search and come with evidence as you do Marina

    CJ
    RN

    ReplyDelete
  16. This author is nuts

    Gangji

    ReplyDelete
  17. There is a lot of information on the internet that completely false and misleading.
    Unfortunately any body can post any thing on the web and for that very same reason I learnt to advise my clients to look at only credible websites as emedicine ,American academy of family physician, MOH website or even Wikipedia

    Penny
    Medical student

    ReplyDelete
  18. This guy is unprofessional ,unethical idiot and,selfish.
    How dare this guy to speak this about people happen to be sick even if his intention to tell guys go and date ED victims they have a lot of good characters.

    Jagdeep

    ReplyDelete
  19. Victims of ED never weak persons ,they do not need some body to raise their self respect. They need from all of us support, understanding and compassion and some one like this quack

    Kelly W

    ReplyDelete
  20. his idiot author need to read your last post about truth and myth and he then can know facts and not ignorantly writing nonsense.

    Carlos

    ReplyDelete
  21. We all known Ed victims do not run after guys no matter what .They are respectful and determined .
    How dare he say this??

    Nisha

    ReplyDelete
  22. If this author read your post and read the Bible ,he would not have made a fool of himself by writing about a topic he is completely ignorant.
    I bet his future as a writer in big jeopardy if continue not educating himself and just jump to writing without knowing.

    Solomon

    ReplyDelete
  23. I can feel sorry for someone who is ill but for ignorant writer or claim to be a writer.

    Clorado

    ReplyDelete
  24. I wish this author disappear till he learn the truth about ED and how to respect those who happen to suffer and how to support rather than hurt

    Zak

    ReplyDelete
  25. We are not against this writer as aperson ,only we are challenging his skewed views and opinion and We would like teach him as better for him to know the truth.

    Sebastian

    ReplyDelete
  26. The picture gives me such a hope in life and fills me with love to myself,family and whole world .

    Raja

    ReplyDelete
  27. I love the picture also

    ReplyDelete
  28. A brief comparison between the lovely picture on this post and a quick look at your blog and what this writer wrote you can see a big difference beween Marina as well respected person,knowledgeble and give us credible info and well searched uptodate and scientific information from this author who writes nonesence
    May God bless you Marina and may God forgive this author for hurting others.

    Shady

    ReplyDelete
  29. This article of this author does not worth reading.He is negative and sarcastic

    Blanchette

    ReplyDelete
  30. This author ranked number one from the bottom!!!


    Madiha

    ReplyDelete
  31. His opinion does not affect our motivation to raise the awareness and get all ED victims to stand up for their health and happiness. This guy will be left alone with his weird opinions.

    JP
    A Thankful mother

    ReplyDelete
  32. His writing is not just an opinion as this is may hurt some people. If he is a real author or writer he should be careful ,read, study or he can take a tutor.I recommend Marina to tutor him and I bet will learn not only all what he needs to know about ED but also all about mental; health and nursing

    Pierrette

    ReplyDelete
  33. I agree completely with Marina.
    As you know I suffered serious ED for several years and I relapsed several times till finally I have been in complete recovery for seven years Dec 2013.
    I think this author got it all wrong.
    I am not happy he invites guys to run after us as his opinions and knowledge about Ed were dead wrong.
    Ed victims and their family are normal people happen to have one illness and recovered .He needs to learn to respect others.

    Recovered ED Vitim for seven years without relapse

    ReplyDelete
  34. I agree with you Marina and with all the comments.
    I do not read for this author as he is not credible .
    I like the picture of love and hope

    Lenus

    ReplyDelete
  35. Love never ever fail. Love gives never take from you. Love build never destroy. True love is divine

    Cinderella

    ReplyDelete
  36. How dare to say that ED is a choice girls make to attract attention. Saying this means he knows nothing about ED

    Sarosh

    ReplyDelete
  37. I am asking him for a written apolgy

    Irina

    ReplyDelete
  38. Thanks Marina for your analytical eye when you search for info. You look at the evidence behind info and you make sure scientifically correct before you post it.You even do not buy any info some one else as this author and you look at credibility.
    You are really an excellent nurse ,educator and researcher.

    Sam Ibrahim
    Burnhamthorpe ,Mississauga

    ReplyDelete

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