My struggle with ED has been the hardest thing I have ever experienced. There were many nights when I lay on my bed, wanting to eat - but being unable to do so. There were days when I wanted to die because I didn't know how long I could endure the suffering. In the ICU, I was dying from organ failure because of ED. All this time, I questioned how this could possibly lead to something positive. How could God use this for the good? Why was God allowing this to happen to me?
And then one day in the ICU, I was awakened by the nurses, who told me that the breathing tube was coming out because I had regained the ability to breathe. The impossible - living after this near-death experience - had happened. I wasn't dead. I was alive! At home, I began eating and gaining weight, I started a blog. But it was still very hard, and I wond4ered why this had happened to me. Why all the pain and sadness? Why was I going through this?
Two years later, today, I have a successful blog and a published book. I am graduating with my nursing degree in a few months. I am at a healthy weight and am happy. My story has reached many and has helped others learn about mental and physical health, and eating disorders. Many, including myself, praise God for these miracles. Now I see why I struggled, why I almost died. Now I understand that God truly uses our experiences for the good. We don't always understand the reason for our pain. We struggle and don't see how God can use this for any good. But one day, we will. And then we will realize that God never left us...that His plans for us are good.
So, please take the time to watch my presentation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NWHRfBc9Y4. It is just over half an hour long, but I guarantee that you will enjoy it and learn something from it. I hope this talk encourages you to keep fighting, and to never give up faith in God. You may not always realize the reason for your struggles...and that's okay. But never lose trust that God has a great plan for you...and He will never leave you alone.
One day, you will look back at this struggle and experience and realize what it has taught you, how it has strengthened your faith or the faith of others, and how you have become a stronger and wiser person because of it.