Do it for YOU!

We all have habits that we want to change, goals that we wish to achieve, and dreams that our hearts are set on.

I've personally struggled with understanding my reasons for certain goals and changes I have wanted to make. WHY am I trying to achieve XXX? Is it for ME? Because I want to be happy, healthy, and feel successful? Or is it because of OTHERS? Or am I doing this because I want others to leave me alone, to praise me, to think highly of me, or to talk about me in a certain way?

In all honesty, working through these feelings and thoughts are tough. Because let's be real: if we are not setting goals or changing habits for OURSELVES, we will never achieve them fully, nor will we ever feel satisfied or happy. Why?

When you set a goal or dream - and you are imvested in it because you truly believe that it will be helpful or useful, will make you feel more confident/happy/proud, you realize just how much you want this thing. For YOU. And so whatever challenges you may face, you set yourself firm. You have your eye on the prize and you will do this regardless of whatever happens.

But if you do something because you want others to praise you (or to get off your back), you will not be fully motivated. Because people will never be satisfied. And because in the end of the day, others don't really matter. What if you were all alone? And no one was around you? Would you still quit smoking completely, even if your wife did not nag you each day to stop that cigarette? Would you do it because you don't want complications like lung cancer? Would you still go to work each day on time, even if your colleagues didn't praise you? Would you do it because it makes you feel proud that you overcame your laziness and did it, despite feeling down?

Thinking about goals, dreams, habit changes, etc. in this way is really helpful. Please note - sometimes, we need others to motivate us. We need them as a reason. For example, you might decide to stop using alcohol because it bothers your family and friends, and it makes you neglect them. But you should also be deciding to stop drinking because for YOUR health, it is not pleasant. And for YOU to be happy, you cannot drink and enjoy time with loved ones. As another example, you may decide to get a new job because your family needs money. This is motivating for you. But you are also doing it because YOU want to feel productive, successful. See the difference?

Goals and habit changes can be better achieved when we have the support and motivation from others. But in the end of the day, you have to do it for YOU. When you are fully invested and motivated in a goal, you are more likely to achieve it. When YOU take full responsibility for this, you are more likely to do it regardless of whatever obstacles you face.

You can do this. I believe in you.